Jn 13: Freedom to Speak Your Truth No Matter What "They" Think
Reflections on John 12
“What will people think?”
It is amazing how quickly that one simple question can shut me down. As a matter of fact, I just felt a twinge of fear as I wrote out my title. “She isn’t a Christian. She thinks truth is relative. She is a liberal. Etc. Etc.”
The Power of the Imaginary Audience
I’ve been told that it’s normal to feel like you are living your life for an imaginary audience. At the very least, it’s a developmental stage everyone goes through. Based on anecdotal evidence, I think a lot of us are still in/on that “stage”… FB seems to be thriving on connecting us with a somewhat real audience (though I think we over estimate our connection and audience…). Although I feel like we all experience the feeling of being controlled by what people will think, I’m quite certain that the amount of input my “imaginary audience” has in my life is not normal. Let’s just suffice it to say, they are always with me. There are many reasons they never leave my side, bad theology from my past, shame, constant criticism for fidgeting and other ADD behaviors, my own insecurities, coupled with being an extremely awkward empathetic extrovert
This week, has been hard for me. I am a Southerner who grew up in a small town going to a Southern Baptist church. For all my criticisms of conservatives, I still see all the good in them. I had a wonderful childhood and I love my family deeply. I’m also a Rhode Islander, living in Ct (I haven’t fully assimilated). I have been working with at-risk youth, migrant workers, homeless people, and survivors of trafficking for many years. I’ve seen a lot of stuff and a lot of different perspectives. I think most of us have something important to add to the discussions and all of us need to get better at listening. So here I am, grieving for all of us and praying for better. All while hearing the constant reminder of “what will they think?” The hard part is I don’t have to wonder, I know. I know people will get mad at me. I know people are going to misjudge me. I know people are mostly going to ignore me. I also know I need to keep sharing what I have seen.
Jesus’ Example
With all that in mind, I read the most amazing thing in John. It is absolutely crazy to consider!
But one of his disciples, Judas Iscariot, who was later to betray him, objected, “Why wasn’t this perfume sold and the money given to the poor? It was worth a year’s wages.” He did not say this because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief; as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it. John 12:4-6
Are you completely inspired?!
Probably not. But if you consider the culture John was writing to, I promise you will be!
The Ancient Culture of Judging the Whole Group
See, back in the ancient world, people judged groups as a whole (thankfully, today, we all now know this is stupid!). They openly believed that the character of one member of the group reflected the character of the whole group. People would have criticized Jesus as not being a good judge of character for including a thief among his disciples. It should have been an embarrassment to them all, but John makes a point of including this detail in his brief account of the ministry of Jesus.
Why? When John was sorting through three years’ worth of stories to share, why did he feel this was an important point to emphasize?
Because of what happened a little bit later.
Jesus Allowed Himself to Be Misjudged
In John 13, Jesus performed a task which was usually assigned to the lowest servant in a household, he washed the feet of all his disciples. This is completely mind-blowing to consider. God in the flesh, the Creator of the Universe, washed the feet of his disciples, including the one who was stealing from them and about to betray him.
When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16 Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them. John 13:12-17
Part of John’s lessons for us on overcoming the darkness is being free from letting others define you. You are adored by God. That is where your worth comes from. When you fully understand his love for you, you are freed from the tyranny of “what other people think.” Jesus was so free from it, he let himself be associated with all the wrong people. Jesus even taught the wrong people. John seemed to be proud of that.
In the rest of John 13, John takes it even further. He points out that Jesus knew Judas Iscariot was going to betray him. Yet, Jesus still washed his feet. Even more extreme, Jesus also pointed out that all of his disciples were going to abandon him.
I actually think this passage may be the hardest thing in the Bible to believe. A God who created the Universe doing miracles may seem far-fetched to some, but it’s certainly within his power. What is crazier to believe is a God with all that power humbling himself to the position of the lowest servant and serving a group of people who would all turn their backs on him.
That is who Jesus is. That is what frees us from the fear of what others think. We fear their judgment because we want to be praised by them, we want to be lifted up by them and empowered by them. The systems of this world will never empower you to be fully you. You may rise to power but you will be controlled by what people think. You may rule over some institution, but you will still be a slave to what people think.
I’m still learning to listen to how much Jesus adores me and let that be enough. I forget easily. But I’m growing and getting better.
Knowing my value and proclaiming my truth is a journey!