How Mary's Story Empowers Women
(Excerpts from Rum and Cola for the Survivors Soul, Chapter 2 “Freedom from Sexual Shame”
Based on (Luke 1:26-2:51)
Mary was a survivor
Mary’s story is amazing, powerful, inspiring and real. It needs to be heard. The sanitized version of the perfect, pale, timid, woman walking around in a bubble of holiness that many churches tell presents little hope for survivors. She is held up as the ideal that none of us can ever attain.
Unfortunately, there is a whole tradition of bad teaching about sex and purity supposedly in Mary’s name. This bad teaching is used to shame people into submitting to a controlling church culture. It’s actually sickeningly tragic. It also forgets about the prostitutes and other survivors in Jesus’ family heritage. I could write a book about the wrongs that have been done in the name of worshipping Mary’s virginity. The virgin birth is not even the emphasis of the birth story of Jesus. The virgin birth is a sign that Jesus was the Messiah, but certainly not the most powerful one. Because let’s be real, there’s no way to prove it.
The Ancient Culture
Also, just to be clear, ancient religions were filled with stories of gods lusting after women, having sex with them and tossing them to the side. Luke was writing to an ancient Roman audience. His readers grew up believing in Zeus (Jupiter). Remember him? The super lusty god who created half the problems in the universe by sleeping with humans and angering his goddess wife Hera? The Roman Emperors claimed to be “sons of gods” and they had sex with whoever they wanted to. So, as uncomfortable as it is for Christians to talk about, God having a son with a woman would not have been shocking to Luke’s original audience.
What would have been absolutely 100%, mind-blowingly, core-rockingly shocking to Luke’s ancient Roman audience was the way God had a son through Mary. First, Mary was a peasant woman. Women had few rights in that day. Women in poverty were disposable playthings for men in power. And in striking contrast to the ancient world’s view of women, God sent a messenger to Mary to get her permission. Just mull that over in your mind for a little while. I don’t think we can ever fully wrap our limited minds around this detail of the story. Ancient Romans probably laughed at this.
God Doesn’t Abuse People
The angel greeted Mary and called her “highly honored.” The angel revealed God’s plan to bring his son into the world through her. Mary was understandably scared, so the angel reassured her as he explained God’s plan. Mary agreed to the plan and even though she was scared, she said “may all of this be fulfilled” Luke 1:38 (NIV), demonstrating that she wanted to be part of this plan.
And then there is the act of conception... I think Luke knew this would bother his ancient audience as much as it bothers us today. And as awkward as it must have been, the gospel writers questioned Mary about how the conception happened. In Luke’s description, he used a Greek word: episkiazo.
This word meant to surround with brilliant light. Many Bible translations use the word “overshadow” because the idea is hard to translate. The idea was that something was creating such bright light that it caused everything around it to seem shadowy. It’s the word New Testament writers frequently used to describe God’s presence. It referred to an uplifting, holy, empowering, beautiful, experience which edified the person. It was not in any way a creepy instance of God using Mary the way humans use each other. God elevates people who choose to follow him. He elevated Mary. She was not an object to be used by a petty god. She was a young woman who was being empowered to be a fierce survivor in a harsh world.
I need to camp out with this part of the story for another minute. As I write, I feel like I can sense little old judgmental ladies cringing. But I have to write this. This is the 21st century, you have seen how cruel and awful this world can be, especially when it comes to sex. As I’ve already mentioned, we all know tons of stories of religious people sexually abusing those they have power over. It’s sadly common. No good person should want to have anything to do with a God that even hints at promoting such things. Sorry. Not sorry if this offends anyone’s religious sensibilities, but my religious sensibilities are offended by people covering up abuse and shaming people over sex issues!
I absolutely believe that Luke gave us these details about the story of Mary to provide a startling contrast to the gods and the culture of the ancient Roman (and modern American) world. All that abuse y’all are covering up and justifying ‘cause you think your mission is more important than the “unimportant” people you hurt: GOD AIN’T ABOUT THAT!!!!
Mary Endured Trauma
Mary needed to be empowered because her path was not an easy one! She had unbelievable struggles, gut-wrenching fears, doubts, and eventually “had a sword pierce her own soul.” But when it was all over and she was asked to tell her story, she was able to look back on everything she had been through and say, “My soul glorifies the Lord, and my heart rejoices in God my Savior.”
The Traumas Mary Faced
First, let’s just take a minute to consider the extreme emphasis on virginity in the culture in which Mary lived. Ancient Jewish people took virginity so seriously that a woman who was found not to be a virgin on her marriage night could be stoned to death. During Mary’s lifetime, Israel was under Roman rule and they were not allowed to execute women for such offenses, but the judgment was still there. Consider that Mary was pregnant and unmarried in this society. It’s challenging for women even today; it was devastating in Mary’s day. Unfortunately, she didn’t get to walk around with a halo shining on her, declaring that she was following God. She was judged and shunned just like any other woman in her society would have been. (Except that God graciously sent an angel to convince Joseph it was OK to marry her.)
And that was just the beginning of the struggles this amazing survivor faced.
Before baby Jesus was born, most of us know the story of Mary and Joseph traveling to Bethlehem where they could not find a place to stay. Mary ended up giving birth to Jesus, the Son of God, in a stable. It is one of the most beautiful pictures of God’s heart for humanity. He chose to come be one of us and enter the world as a helpless baby in a place where animals ate and did their business. It wasn’t the stuff that moms dream of when they plan their babies’ birth stories; it was dirty, hard, lonely and amazing.
Being Associated with Outcasts
The story gets even crazier and more awesome. Most of us know about the shepherds showing up soon after the birth of Jesus. It’s depicted in most every nativity scene: cute little shepherd boys with adorable little lambs to add to the quaint picturesque scene of Jesus’ birth.
Only shepherds were dirty, stinky outcasts. They did one of the worst jobs in their society. They slept outdoors and hung out with a bunch of other outcasts. People generally viewed them as dangerous or at least suspicious. They were about as far as you could get from religious. It’s a glaring statement of how God feels about religion. The religious scholars were poring over Scripture, memorizing prophecies about the coming Messiah, and God sent angels to the religious outcasts and told them where to find Jesus.
This is one of the most crazy-awesome things in the world to imagine. Can you picture Mary, basically camping out in a stable just after giving birth to Jesus? Then a bunch of guys who were basically ancient thugs showed up and worshipped Jesus. It must have been mind-blowing for her. This isn’t how kings are supposed to be born, and those certainly weren’t the people you’d expect to be his messengers. (And the shepherds certainly weren’t going to help her reputation!)
I LOVE picturing the next part of the story! Luke tells us that the shepherds went around telling people about Jesus, glorifying and praising God. Considering their status, I imagine it being like a gang running around the streets telling people about this little baby being born and how God was doing something new and amazing. I tend to picture a homeless person with a shopping cart chasing down a snooty lady, cornering her, scaring her out of her mind, then telling her about Jesus with a handful of swears in there. That’s not exactly how it went, but pretty close.
Purpose in her pain
The story then takes a leap forward a few weeks. Mary and Joseph took Jesus to the temple for a purification ritual and to dedicate Jesus. We find out from the sacrifices that Mary and Joseph offered that they were very poor because they weren’t able to afford the normal sacrifice. While they were there, a priest named Simeon came up to them and spoke about Jesus. He took baby Jesus in his arms and praised God. Simeon had faithfully served God his whole life and was filled with joy just in seeing Jesus and knowing that God was going to do a great work through him. Simeon spoke highly of Jesus and then spoke to Mary.
Simeon said, “This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too” Luke 2:34-35 (NIV).
I don’t know if you’ve ever had a child or held a newborn, but there is a certain sense of protectiveness that you feel. As you look at this precious child, so unable to care for themselves, everything in you wants to protect. Even though my kids are grown, the mama bear side of me will still go off on anyone that tries to hurt them in any way. To me, nothing is worse than seeing my kids go through something hurtful.
Now, imagine mama bear Mary standing with her infant in her arms. Simeon looks at her. He tells her, “This child is going to cause powerful people to fall and lowly people to rise. People are going to speak out against him and it will show where their hearts are. And as he goes through all of this, you are going to experience such devastation that it will feel like a sword has pierced your soul.”
If she were not clinging to something bigger than herself, I don’t believe she would have continued. At this point, I feel like I’d be saying, “Uhmmm, excuse me Simeon. That’s not a very good blessing. This is the Messiah. How about you try again….”
But God’s message to his followers is never that our path will be easy. It is that it will have meaning and He will be with you. The Americanized version of following God, which focuses so much on physical comfort and praise from people, would not have helped Mary much in the ordeals she would endure as she raised Jesus.
Refugees
We know from Matthew’s (and other non-biblical scholars) account of the early life of Jesus that within a few years of Jesus’ birth, King Herod tried to have him killed. In a huge display of sad irony, Herod went to the Jewish religious scholars and asked them about the prophecies of where the Messiah would be born. The scholars did not go look for the Messiah of the prophecies, but they shared the information with Herod. Herod had his soldiers kill every male child in Bethlehem and the vicinity. Those were Joseph’s relatives and their friends’ children. Mary and Joseph had been warned and escaped to Egypt where they lived as refugees for several years until Herod died.
The religious leaders missed the birth of Jesus. They actually explained the prophecies about Jesus to Herod and sent him on a murderous rampage. Uhm hello? Religious dudes. Wake up...
You know the wise men we all hear about. They were foreigners. Unaccepted. Not allowed to worship in the Jewish synagogue. They brought gifts to Jesus and worshipped him. Those gifts were probably what allowed Mary and Joseph to survive in Egypt. They were essential to the survival of the Messiah, while those religious leaders who claimed to be looking for him almost caused his death.
After Herod’s death, Joseph and Mary brought Jesus back to Israel but were afraid to return to the region of Bethlehem because Herod’s son had taken his place, and he also believed Jesus was a threat.
That’s a traumatic first few years of motherhood for Mary!
Then the annoyingly, sparsely detailed writing skips forward a few years until Jesus was 12 years-old. Mary and Joseph went to Jerusalem for a festival. The Festival of the Passover was a huge deal for the Jews. Everyone celebrated this festival. As Mary and Joseph were returning home, they thought that Jesus was with them in the crowd walking towards their hometown. After traveling all day, they began to set up camp for the night. They began asking where Jesus was. No one knew. He was not with their group.
We don’t know how frantic Mary was at this point. Luke doesn’t share this detail. All that she had already seen had to have entered her mind. Herod had killed all the baby boys in a town because of Jesus; surely, she wrestled with some fear at this moment. Then there was that prophecy; was this the moment that a sword would pierce her soul?
Mary and Joseph returned to Jerusalem and searched for Jesus. They found him on the third day. He was in the temple courts sitting among the teachers, listening to them, asking questions and astounding them with his answers and insights.
When Mary and Joseph found Jesus, they were astonished. Jesus was wowing the religious leaders of the day. This wasn’t something Mary and Joseph could have trained Jesus for. We know that Mary was incredibly upset by the ordeal because she confronted Jesus in front of the crowd and the religious teachers. It would have been an intimidating place for her in a society where women seldom spoke out. She asked Jesus why he had treated them so badly and informed him that she and Joseph had been anxiously searching for him.
Jesus replied, “Why were you searching for me? Didn’t you know I would be in my Father’s house?” But Mary and Joseph did not understand.
I imagine that God orchestrated this event for Mary. We don’t know what happened to Joseph, but there are no reports of him being around when Jesus was crucified. Most likely, Joseph had died by then. As Mary went through the extreme trauma of seeing her son being unjustly accused, beaten, and then crucified, I wonder if Jesus’ words echoed in her ears. I wonder if she remembered all that God had already brought her through. I bet that she still had some kind of hope that something good was going to come from this. Even though her eyes and everything in her was telling her that it was over, I bet she remembered all the times she had feared it being over before. I bet she remembered her frantic three-day search and wondered if he was still somehow doing the work God sent him for.
How Mary Remembered Her Story
We don’t know much more of Mary’s story. But it’s important to know that she wasn’t journaling about all of these events as she went along. What we know of her story is what she shared with writers who interviewed her after Jesus had been crucified and resurrected. Understanding all that she had endured makes her reflection of the story more beautiful. Mary looked back at it all and this amazing survivor remembered it this way:
“My soul glorifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant.
From now on all generations will call me blessed,
for the Mighty One has done great things for me—holy is his name.
His mercy extends to those who fear him,
from generation to generation. He has performed mighty deeds with his arm;
he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.
He has brought down rulers from their thrones
but has lifted up the humble.
He has filled the hungry with good things
but has sent the rich away empty.
He has helped his servant Israel,
remembering to be merciful
to Abraham and his descendants forever,
just as he promised our ancestors.” Luke 1:46-55 (NIV).
As Mary reflected on all that God had brought her through, she rejoiced in how God lifted up the humble.
Hope for Us
God cares about all of your struggles, even the ones that seem too messed up to speak out loud. The things that have been done to you and the things that you have done don’t define your value to God. He cares about every struggle that you have endured. He didn’t give you the story of Mary to beat you down with an ideal you can’t live up to. Her story shows that the world is a harsh, judgmental, hurtful place. God wants to lift you up and give you the freedom to rise above any shame around your past and present. He wants you to walk with him through those struggles and any other struggles that have kept you from knowing how much he absolutely adores you.